Marriage will not stop the violence. Love will not give more jobs and healthcare to trans youth of color. Assimilation won’t get us any respect from the system…So, we can get married all we want but it isn’t going to help all of us. – Zain Ahmed from Ireland and the Institution of Marriage

tumblr_nqka29WAEh1upjw1jo1_1280There’s a part of me that is happy about the SCOTUS decision regarding marriage today but at the same time, I know that the decision won’t impact the most marginlized people, won’t fix the issues still at play, won’t stop violence or other forms of discrimination. We have a long fight to continue and many more struggles to face.

tumblr_nq9axvOnoU1st25zzo1_1280Throwing others under the bus while celebrating Pride and mainstream issues like marriage is definitely not what we should be doing. Booing and jeering an undocumented trans woman talking about violence in detention centers is not what we should be doing. Celebrating the cis, white, rich is not what we should be doing.

This is not a movement, it’s a marketing scheme.
This is not equality, it’s erasure.

Our bodies should matter even if we’re not in style this season.
Talk is cheap; show us your receipts.

When there are 200 beds for homeless queer youth in New York City
and your friends are signing leases for new mansions.

When all of the major national gay rights organization in the US invest billions in private prisons and drone warfare.

When marriage and not murder is the number one queer issue.

DarkMatter (a queer South Asian spoken word duo) from It Gets Bourgie Project

I love when the world makes things explicit: today when cisgender gays and lesbians and their allies will be celebrating…

Posted by Darkmatter on Friday, 26 June 2015

“Gay marriage isn’t gonna end oppression of queer people. Trans people are still underserved, trans women are still…

Posted by Guerrilla Feminism on Friday, 26 June 2015

5 thoughts on “Marriage.

  1. The one thing that makes me uncomfortable about these kinds of responses is that they completely ignore the ways marriage CAN help some of those people – that, or they ignore the fact that white, cisgender people can still be connected to queer POC. For example, yes, I’m a white cisgender woman with a fairly okay income and a steady job. I want to get married to my girlfriend – and you know why? (Well, besides love and stuff) Because as a queer POC, she IS more likely to be discriminated against, paid less (she makes very little anyway) and be a victim of violence. Marriage helps me to help her, by securing us some legal protections and allowing me to do everything I can to keep her safe in a world that wants to crush her. So yes, I’m going to celebrate this victory. That doesn’t mean I’m going to stop fighting for everything else, though. I don’t think any o us really are, not those of us on the ground.

    • And all of that is important for me to remember, I do know that for many (like yourself), marriage is important for a variety of reasons. I do spend a lot of time focusing a lot on the ways in which marriage won’t be helping, instead of the ways it can. For me, critiquing the intense focus on marriage equality is important because I worry that now that struggle is over, there won’t be that same presence of time and particularly money for other issues impacting the queer community.

      I have a complicated opinion about marriage really because I do know how important it is to others but I don’t want it to be seen as this end all solution to equality. It’ll help some who have access but it won’t fix everything like it seems to be advertised as. (But that is my own interpretation of what’s happening.)

      Thank you for reading, commenting, and sharing your experience. (This is actually one of the best comments I’ve ever gotten about my writing.) I hope all the best for you and your partner.

      • I fear that consequence too, and am not so positive as to not expect it to happen. I’m sure corporate support will drop off (boo) but I suppose a lot depends on the leanings of our next president. Which is, frankly, terrifying. But I think even without the fair-weather allies, we’ll keep making gains. You’re right, though – the fight is far from over.

        I’m glad you liked my comment. I’m always afraid I’m going to get flamed when I say something contradictory, but your reply was incredibly thoughtful. Excited to see what else you write!

  2. I think it was a great decision, a progressive one at that, but I respect the forward thinking. This is far from the largest issue in the LGBTQA community. It’s time to look forward, to keep pushing for the rights and change just around the corner.

    It does my heart good to see someone going against the grain (excuse the cliché) and writing towards a more equitable future.

    Keep up the good work!

    • I definitely agree that it was a good decision, as I’ll never be opposed to anyone being able to get married. Pretty much all my concerns have to do with the fact that this is far from the largest issue in the community, like you said. Many of my concerns are over the fact that now that this issue is ‘resolved’, will there be that same sort of manpower, focus, and monetary resources dedicated to other issues? Or will it be the case that now that we have this, are people going to say we should just be content and that things are all good?

      Thank you so much for not only reading but your kind words!


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