Today, for what felt like the millionth time, my mom asked me what I was going to do with my future. Her exact words were something along the lines of “you can’t be a dog walker when you’re 40!” My parents are particularly great at the whole guilt tripping thing regardless of the topic and lately that focus has been on the fact that I don’t have a traditional 9-5 job.
But the thing is? I’m 23 years old and dog walking and house sitting has been so great over the last few months. I love hanging out with dogs and people’s pets because I just love animals. This has been the first job in which I’ve been able to hang out with animals and it’s just been so great. (Despite how stinky they can sometimes be…)
And I don’t know what I want to do with my life. I literally have no idea what the future has in store for me and I have no idea what career path I want to go down. There are a few different things that I’m so interested that committing to a grad program or career seems fruitless.
I also recently realized that on top of my depression and anxiety, I probably have borderline personality disorder. One of the symptoms of BPD, described by the National Institute of Mental Health, is “distorted and unstable self-image or sense of self, which can result in sudden changes in feelings, opinions, values, or plans and goals for the future (such as school or career choices)”, which is something I often go through. (Also want to be clear that I’m not basing my self diagnosis on just having this symptom but having many of them…)
Ultimately, I have no idea what I want to do with my life. I’m so glad that I do have a degree in sociology and I’m also so glad that I’m working as a dog walker and pet sitter because both those things have had a huge impact on the person I now am. But I don’t know what the future holds for me and where I’ll go in life. What I want to do changes on a regular basis and having my parents constantly question my life choices isn’t helping exactly.