Things I wish I knew.

Alternatively: dear me in senior year of high school.

The things I wish I knew years ago:

  • You’re not straight and that’s so okay.
    • Dad will cheer when you come out, Mom will ask if you’re in love, and your sister will already know. You’re not good at keeping your queerness a secret as it turns out.
    • There are words and identities for you.
  • You also don’t have to be super feminine
    • you’re also kinda trans and spend a lot of time thinking about gender
  • Don’t go into nursing. trust that instinct that you don’t want to spend your life doing that.
    • Also your grades aren’t going to be as great in college as they were in high school
  • That guy you really liked and dated for a couple months is so not worth your time.
  • Do something about that massive forehead you have. Try a different hair cut maybe?
  • You have depression and anxiety but you are not broken because of it.
    • That constant irritability and frustration and anger you feel is because of the depression
  • Please go to a coffee shop other than Starbucks. The coffee there sucks and you’re better than that.
  • You’ll make mistakes and that’s also so okay. Learn from them.

Honestly I feel like I’m in a significantly better place and know so much about myself now than in high school. There’s the saying that high school is the best four years of your life but that was so wrong for me. It did get better (as cliche and annoying as that is to admit).