Tips On Being An Ally.

I’ve written about being an ally before and the many things you need to do to be one because allyship is a constant set of behaviors. But I wanted to write again about being an ally and some do’s and don’t’s about being one and include some resources.

  1. Don’t pressure people to educate you about their identity or struggles. Do that yourself – Google things, read articles and books, watch videos. There are so many resources out there already and odds are, the people you pressure to educate you have been bothered over and over again and are probably super annoyed with it. At least I’m super annoyed with it. Places and articles to start include:
    1. Everyday Feminism – this includes some 101 information and some more in depth resources.
    2. Finally a Feminism 101 Blog
    3. Black Girl Dangerous
    4. Racism 101 for White People
    5. Whites Educating Whites – hasn’t been updated in a couple years but still has resources!
    6. What is Ableism? and Disability 101
    7. Trans 101 and if you’re ready for it, Trans 201.
  2. Related to this, don’t expect people to do all the work for you, including having people of color cure your racism.
  3. Understand intersectionality and realize that there are so many systemic issues constantly at play in the world.
  4. Realize your lack of a role and respect healing spaces for specific identities.
    1. Don’t insert yourself into conversations, spaces, or communities. Not everything will be about you. Not every thing should be about you. And that’s okay.
    2. Also: the A in LGBTQIA doesn’t stand for ally but instead for asexual/aromantic. Being an ally is not an identity but a constant set of actions and behaviors and that’s something I’ll say over and over again.
  5. Do some identity exploration for yourself and push back against your own privilege. Have conversations with people who share some of your identities, realize the ways in which your privilege benefits you.
  6. Talk less. Smile (and listen) more. Seriously. And actually listen to what people are saying when they are talking – don’t think about how you’re not that person or “not all men/white people/etc!” or what you’re going to say next.

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