We’re officially three weeks into 2018 and I’m now in that phase of hoping this is my year to change but knowing it’ll probably be the same as the past few years. One of the things I’m hoping for this year is to get back into writing more and reorganizing past work.
I’ve been making some slight changes on this blog already and added a way to look through posts by category on the top menu. And as far as writing, I’m aiming for a new post every Monday. Maybe more but hopefully not less.
That’s about it for now. Here’s to hoping that this year is just a little better and to working towards a more just and equitable future.
This year, like 2016, seemed like a continuous garbage fire (and in some places, there were actual fires…). It’s been hard to stay strong, to be positive about the kind of future we have in store. Plus, with winter officially upon us in the northern hemisphere, these cold, short days are perfect for negative thinking and depressive attitudes (at least for me). So in light of all of that, I wanted to write about some of my favorite things to come out of this year.
I’ve been noticeably gone from this blog over the past few months and there are a few reasons for that. One of the biggest is my own depression. My mental health has been suffering over the past few months and a part of that is because the days have been getting shorter in my hometown, as days are wont to do as seasons change and the year comes to an end.
Winter is nearly upon us in the northern hemisphere and for where I’m at in the world, that means significantly shorter days and long, dark nights. The sun will set around 4:30pm today, giving us about nine hours of light but most of that will be under an overcast sky. My depression thrives during this part of the year and is a big reason why I’ve been so noticeably absent from this blog. Writing is difficult when there are days when brushing my teeth or making a meal is an accomplishment.
And more than that, I’m still trying to figure out what I want to do with this blog. When I first started this project years ago, I had a clear vision of what I want to accomplish and now, I’m not too sure. There’s so much work to be done, that I will admit. But I’m just not sure the best ways for me to move forward with this project.
I’m really hoping that I can come back to this space soon. Writing, as difficult as it is most days, still gives me something to focus on and a reason to get out of bed. But for now, I’m going to continue to focus on other things and hopefully I’ll be back to this space by the beginning of 2018.
Hey y’all! So it’s been almost a month since I last posted and I wanted to write a quick update. Things are pretty okay for me, all things considered. Life for me have been hectic this month and I’m still trying to deal with my (failing) mental health. But I’m here and I’m starting the slow process of getting my life back together.
I’ve been doing a bunch of adulting this past week, resulting in a huge amount of anxiety. But as I’ve learned, my anxiety always does better if I just deal with the problem/thing immediately. It literally took me until I was in my early 20s to realize that addressing the source of my anxiety would actually make the thing go away and thus, my anxiety would go away as well. I come from a family of procrastinators so I’m not surprised it took me that long and I still try and not deal with issues immediately.
Years ago, I started this blog because I was angry. I was angry at all the injustice in the world and at all the oppression and hatred that we still deal with. And I was angry at my own ignorance. I wasn’t really sure where I wanted to go with this project but I knew that I wanted to learn, to be challenged, and to have my voice heard in some way. Writing somewhat anonymously over the years has allowed me that.
Since then, I’ve written hundreds of posts, read books and articles that expanded my understanding of the world, and watched movies that have challenged me. I’ve spent a lot of time writing, reflecting, and then writing some more. But I’m not the not the most consistent blogger and I’m marginally adequate at writing. I’ve made more than a few mistakes but there are many other things that I still stand behind. And I’m always trying to challenge myself and then bring that back to this blog in the hopes that maybe one other person can read this blog and be challenged in the same way I was.
So a couple years ago, I wrote a couple pieces for this blog about problematic faves – celebrities that many seem to adore and love but are problematic in different ways. My point with writing these posts wasn’t to be malicious or to really tear people down but instead, to really start the conversation on why we shouldn’t be putting people on pedestals and why we should hold people accountable.
People aren’t prefect – as a species, humans are messy and tend to make a whole lot of mistakes. I know that I’ve made so many mistakes that would qualify as a problematic person and I don’t deny that I’m still not making mistakes. But I’m trying to be better and I’m trying to learn more in order to make less mistakes in the future.
Things are hectic and overwhelming now on so many different levels – trying to just keep up with what’s coming out of the White House and from 45’s administration on a regular basis is difficult most days. Add in everything else, including trying to survive, just getting out of bed most days can be hard. But it’s so important that we, especially and particularly we as white people, do get out of bed and work against white supremacy and fight for justice and equity.
Living in the Pacific Northwest as a white person has been interesting to say the least. We have so many quirks here (like wearing socks and sandals) but one of my least favorite things is how white people like myself deal with race. I grew up here and my family never really talked about race – living in an overwhelmingly white community and having mostly white friends meant that race was never something I had to really think about too much. The only times race and racism really came up in my family was in the context of my dad’s extended family. He was born and raised in the deep South but considered himself a “good” white person and was a bit of an outlier from the rest of his family.
I wrote on Monday that I haven’t been able to stop reading what’s been going and honestly, that hasn’t changed. There’s still so much that’s going on and so much that’s come out just in the last couple days. I wanted to share more articles and videos to really continue putting everything in context but to also just show how horrifying things are right now.
Over the weekend, I was glued to the screen to my phone, watching the events violently unfold in Charlottesville, Virginia and trying to understand both what’s happening in real time and the context for it all. It’s difficult for so many reasons to really keep up and understand what’s been going on but here’s a brief timeline of what happened on Friday and Saturday in Charlottesville.