A note on fatness.
I made the mistake today of watching a really awful video that was essentially this person rambling on about how terrible fat people are. I don’t know why I kept watching it after realizing seconds into it that it was really just several minutes of this person telling me I’m a sorry existence for a human because I am fat but I did. In the video (which I’m not going to link to or even attempt to find ever again), the person essentially ranted about their deep seeded hatred for fat people and the body positivity movement (which by the way, isn’t just for fat people but not the point right now).
This video honestly reminded me of so many of the people that are in my life and of all the terrible things I think about myself on a regular basis. It made me feel ill and reminded me of the obsessive nature of my weight loss goals from a few months ago. The nature where I couldn’t stop obsessing, the one that led me to occasionally throw up after eating and could barely function outside of doing anything that didn’t help me to lose weight.
My desire to lose weight over the past year has seemed to be more toxic than the fat I have around my stomach and thighs. I was obsessive and destructive and not healthy in anyway. I was lucky enough to realize all on my own the destructive tendency that had been concealed as a desire to be healthy and stopped.
But right now I want to acknowledge the fact the prevalent and toxic nature of assuming you know what’s best for someone else. This is to all those out there that think you know what’s best for me because you’re thin and I’m not and to all those that think you get a say in a stranger’s life:
Fuck. You. Just straight up fuck you to the moon and back. Also, why are you so obsessed with me?
But in case you’re not won over by just that, let’s look into some things. Did you know that the BMI scale isn’t that great (and apparently total bogus)? Time, NPR, and FoxNews (weird) all have articles about how the BMI scale isn’t that great and isn’t an accurate indicator of health. This Is Thin Privilege and others wrote about the beginning of the BMI scale, the history behind it, and about how the person who started it had a low sample rate in one specific location in a Tumblr post (which has sources attached).
ALSO let’s talk about fat shaming and size discrimination. It’s not just the fashion industry or that fat people have trouble finding clothes because there are so many other things about society that shames people about their size. Did you know that weight is a factor in grad school admissions? Or that there’s an increased likelihood of conviction, a lack of medical services and legal rights, among other things?
There are so many myths and assumptions about fat people and just fatness in general. Some take downs include:
- Just the Fat Facts, Ma’am – Golda Poretsky
- 9 facts shatter the biggest stereotypes about people who are fat – Julianne Ross
- Busting myths about fat bodies – Kath Read
It is possible to exercise while fat and do it for plenty of different reasons other than weight loss. I walk because I like it and it makes me feel better. And there was a point in my life where I was doing cross country, soccer, and horseback riding all within a span of several months but I was still considered fat. People don’t have to exercise to lose weight or change their shape nor do they have to fit into the societal definitions of what fit people should be like.
I wrote a poem several months ago about how I felt regarding a family member’s comments about my then weight loss. Looking at my life and how I feel and how I take care of myself, it just seems so apparent to me that it’s more likely that I’ll die from other reasons not related to my fatness.
Someone’s inherent worth should not be determined by a stranger’s standards. Fat people do not exist so you can tell them how to lose weight, that they should lose weight. We exist for ourselves, not for your misplaced and unnecessary concern.
“It made me feel ill and reminded me of the obsessive nature of my weight loss goals from a few months ago. The nature where I couldn’t stop obsessing, the one that led me to occasionally throw up after eating and could barely function outside of doing anything that didn’t help me to lose weight.”
This reminded me so much of my experiences with an eating disorder, and the self-hatred that accompanied it. Also reminded me how far I’ve come from that and how much better I’m doing now (fatter but much happier).
I hope things are better for you now and that they continue to get better.
I think one of the best things I’ve personally encountered over the past couple weeks is seeing that I’m not alone in struggling with my weight and that my fatness is not something to hate with a fiery passion. This comment definitely helps. Thank you so much for this and I hope that everything is going well for you! ❤
I’m glad it helped you feel less alone in it 🙂 And thank you!